Triggers: How to Navigate Triggers During the Holidays

Let’s face it: the holidays can be enjoyable, yet stressful. Some of us look forward to the holidays. Some of us dread the holidays. The holidays can bring up past delightful memories, inspiring joy and happiness. For some of us, holidays bring up feelings of hurt, pain, and sadness. Holidays can bring both positive and negative emotions! If you’re in the camp of experiencing negative emotions, you want to be prepared for potential situations that may arise. Here are some potential tidbits to help you navigate potential triggers as a Christian during the holidays.

What are Triggers?

Let’s start first by identifying what’s a trigger. A trigger is an emotional, mental, and physiological response that occurs as a response to a past trauma. We are often triggered by sensory reminders of past trauma, such as sights, sounds, smells, etc. When our bodies are triggered, this sets off a physiological response in our sympathetic nervous symptoms that tells the body “DANGER!” We experience emotions like anger, sadness, shame, guilt, and panic. Some people may even experience flashbacks or panic attacks. Others may notice a more negative mindset or heightened anxiety. Children may communicate feelings triggered through more intense emotional outbursts or tantrums. Being triggered can look different for every person. 

What’s an Example of Triggers Response?

A person may value spending time with family during the holidays but becomes increasingly anxious about seeing a particular side of the family or a certain family member during the holidays. A person may only recall past negative memories with this family member or side of the family. The adult may want to avoid the family member(s). These family members may be triggers for past traumatic experiences. Teens may isolate and refuse to go. Children may become more tearful or have more meltdowns. Adults may push through the discomfort because visiting family is what they always do or it seems like a person has to go. *Please note: these could be examples of trigger responses. These responses could also have other reasons.*

Practical Tips to Respond to Triggers:

Our emotions tell us about our interactions with experiences. When we’re triggered, how we handle them is important. Being triggered can correlate with unhealthy interactions with others. We can develop and depend on unhealthy coping habits, which hurt us in the long run. Getting professional help to navigate triggers should be a top priority (we’ll discuss this further below), but here are some things you can do to navigate triggers.

1. Identify potential triggers. Thinking through potential situations may help you identify where you might experience a trigger during the holidays. Take a few moments to jot down some responses to the following questions:

• What situations, people, or places led me to feel upset, sad, scared, guilty, embarrassed or ashamed?
• What situations, people, or places do I want to avoid?
• What past negative situations come to mind?

2. Recognize your validate your emotions: 

Many Christians have been taught that we should discount our emotions. We’ve been told we’re making a big deal out of nothing. We avoid our feelings, but God has given us emotions. Our emotions are a response to whatever situation is occurring. By pushing away your feelings or telling yourself “It’s no big deal”, you may actually be worsening your response to the trigger.

3. Lean into prayer and other spiritual disciplines. Practice moments of solitude. Memorize verses such as Psalm 46:1 or Psalms 121:1-2 to remind you of God’s presence and help.

4. Seek support, encouragement, and wise counsel from a couple of trusted individuals in your faith community. Friends or a small group can pray for you or listen when you need support. Ask safe, supportive, encouraging, and truthful individuals to check in on you or whom you can call or talk to if needed. You’re not alone!

5. Taking deep breaths during stressful moments. Deep breaths can do a wonder for the body to help it calm down when our sympathetic nervous system(SMS) becomes activated. Deep breaths with slow controlled exhales help stimulate our parasympathetic nervous system to reverse the work of the SMS.

6. Set and stick to helpful, healthy boundaries and limits. Predetermine what you will and will not do during the holidays. It’s okay to say no and set boundaries for yourself or your family. Again, this is where trusted individuals to help you think through necessary boundaries can be a big help!

7. Having a plan to address the trigger as it arises. If you are going into a situation where you might be triggered, it’s often helpful to have a plan in place for how you will respond so that your emotional response doesn’t catch you off guard. Take a few moments to write out a plan about what you will do, who You talk to, or where you will go when feeling triggered.

Ultimate Hope when Triggered

These practical tips will help you navigate your holidays and help you feel more supported. While you can plan and prepare, you can’t substitute these aids for the eternal hope we have in God. When physical, emotional, and mental well-being is not where we want to be, we can remember the hope that faith brings. You can remember God’s presence and ask for His help. You can remember His faithfulness in His promises and character. Lastly, you can recall that God knows your suffering and sent His Son, Jesus as our eternal hope.

When to Seek Professional Help

Whether it’s during the holidays or after the holidays, if you’re noticing emotional triggers or overwhelming negative responses, we recommend you seek help for you or your child from a professional counselor. A counselor can help you identify current triggers and explore the past to provide healing for your or your child’s future. A Christian counselor can help you find healing not only emotionally and mentally but spiritually by incorporating important aspects of your faith. At Sojourner Counseling, we’re equipped and prepared to help you navigate your triggers as a Christian whatever time of year. It’s never too late to start. Let us walk alongside you and your journey to healing!