How To Address Shame with Christian Counseling
Shame can be a nearly crippling emotion for many people, leading to feelings of worthlessness, a lack of confidence, and at times can cause people to be overly critical of themselves and others. For Christians, shame can take on other forms as well. For example, shame might make you feel afraid of God or disconnected from Him, cause you to doubt your faith, or make it difficult to find healthy Christian fellowship.
Does any of this sound familiar? If so, then Christian counseling might be helpful for you. How can Christian counseling address the problem of shame? Let’s find out!
Identifying Helpful and Unhealthy Shame
While shame can be damaging, not all forms of shame are necessarily bad. For example, sometimes shame can humble us before God and lead us to repentance. However, unhealthy shame can have the opposite effect. Sometimes, shame is so extreme that it can be difficult to face one’s faults or accept necessary criticism. Unhealthy shame can also cause depression, anxiety, and disconnection from God and others.
How can you tell if the shame you experience is helpful or unhealthy? Christian counseling can help you with this. For example, you might talk with your Christian counselor about how to tell the difference between the gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit that helps you grow and the slanderous, harsh voice of the Enemy. This is largely accomplished by helping you identify and understand some of the underlying causes of your shame.
Understanding the Root Causes of Harmful Shame
If you struggle with deep and painful shame, then know that something most likely happened to you that caused this. You are not to blame, and finding the cause can be greatly beneficial for your healing.
For example, you might have had parents or caretakers that often criticized you or mistreated you in other ways. You might have endured bullying in school, or have a history of abuse within your personal relationships. Maybe you experienced trauma from churches that you belonged to in the past or from Christian mentors.
Whatever the case might be for you, your Christian counselor can help you unpack these sources of shame in a compassionate, safe environment. From there, you can do the work of healing with faith-based guidance and support.
Overcoming Shame Through the Gospel
One of the great things about Christian counseling is that it helps you find freedom by nurturing your relationship with God. The gospel of Jesus Christ can be immensely healing, especially for those who deal with unhealthy shame.
We can rest in His mercy and forgiveness, and trust in His patience with us as we learn how to heal our unhealthy shame so that we can grow in Him. His love is stronger than our shame, and even when He corrects us, He does so lovingly and not abusively. With His help, we can also learn to let go of the pains of the past, forgive, and move on with purpose and hope for the future.
What to Expect During Christian Counseling for Shame Recovery
When working with your Christian counselor, he or she might use a variety of counseling approaches to help you address your difficulties with shame. For example, if your shame is rooted in trauma, you might undergo EMDR therapy, CBT therapy, or Brainspotting therapy.
You can also ask to incorporate your faith during sessions through prayer, scripture reading, and more. Your counselor will provide in-depth information about your options, so you can make an informed decision that is right for you. With Christian counseling, those who have struggled with shame have gained the following benefits, and so can you:
- A Healthy, Faith-Based Self-Image
- Forgiveness of Self and Others
- Effective Coping Strategies for Shameful Thoughts and Feelings
- A Closer Relationship with God and Others
Learn More About Christian Counseling in Raleigh, NC for Dealing with Shame
If you or your child is struggling to deal with shame, then Sojourner Counseling can help. We provide Christian counseling in Raleigh for children, teens, and adults, and we offer a variety of methods for addressing the root causes of shame, such as trauma, anxiety, and depression. We provide a judgment-free zone for helping you or your child work through shame at a gentle pace, and we are more than happy to answer any questions that you have about our Christian therapists in Raleigh, NC.