Communication: What Kids Need from Their Parents
You don’t need anyone to tell you how much responsibility is involved in parenting, but with so much to deal with, it can be challenging to know where to prioritize your time and efforts. If you’re worried that communication is falling through the cracks, then don’t feel too bad. This is a common struggle for parents. However, this is a difficulty that needs to be addressed—for the good of you and your children or teens. Want some expert advice? You’ve come to the right place!
Why Communication is Important
All healthy relationships are hinged on good communication, and this is especially true for parent-child relationships. As a parent, your number-one job is to do everything that you can to provide your children and teens with what they need to grow into healthy adults. Communication makes this challenging task much simpler by helping you connect with your child in important ways. Some of the positive effects of good parent-child communication include:
- Allows Parents to Understand Their Child’s Needs
- Helps Children Feel Heard and Valued
- Builds Trust, Respect, and Understanding
- Creates a Safe, Nurturing Environment
- Encourages the Child to Speak Openly and Honestly
- Promotes a Healthy Self-Esteem in the Child
Tips for Improving Communication with Your Children
I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live (Psalm 116:1-2).
No matter what we are going through, God is near and ready to hear us. With this trust, we can form a relationship with Him. As parents, we want to provide the same assurance for our children. However, with so much happening in our day-to-day life, it can be challenging to know where to start. Here are some steps you can take that can help.
Get to know their unique communication style.
Just like adults, children communicate in different ways. Some kids like to talk about everything, while others tend to be more reserved. Some children communicate indirectly through acting out, and others try to get your attention in other ways like giving you things or showing off their latest skill or knowledge. With a little careful attention, you can discover how your child communicates, and this will help you find ways to connect with him or her personally.
Show interest in what they have to say.
Everyone likes to feel heard, and your child is no different. It can be difficult to slow down and pay attention, but taking an interest in what they are saying lets them know that you care. Plus, modeling good listening skills encourages them to listen to you as well. You can show interest by making eye contact, validating their emotions, and asking questions to keep the conversation going.
Make time for daily conversation.
No matter how busy you get, set aside some time to chat with your child one-on-one. Even if all you have is a few minutes, you’d be surprised at how much of a difference this can make in your child’s ability to connect with you.
Share appropriate stories about yourself.
Communication isn’t a one-way street. Your child will want to get to know you also, and it’s okay to share some details about yourself. Just make sure that the information is positive, like what your interests are or some happy memories from your childhood.
Tips for Improving Communication with Your Teens
In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears. (Psalm 18:6).
It’s good to know that when we are in trouble, we can go to God for help. As a parent, you want to know that your teen can do the same with you. How can you encourage this bond of trust at a time when your child is finding their independence, which can make communication challenging? Here are some tips that might help.
Focus on building your relationship.
It’s good to talk to your teen about life lessons, but don’t get so caught up in lectures that you forget to connect with them on a more personal level. You can talk about what’s going on in school, help them navigate difficult social situations, or just chat about their favorite song or movie. The key is to make your relationship a priority, and trust that the life lessons will follow naturally.
Respond with care and empathy.
When your teen opens up to you about a problem that they are dealing with, a dream that they have, or need some help processing a recent challenge, it’s important to keep communication going. If your teen feels judged or threatened, they might shut the conversation down. Do your best to put yourself in their shoes so that you can react with empathy and genuine care for their experience.
Make sure you’re understanding each other.
Sometimes communication breaks down, and this can lead to frustration between you and your teen. If something seems to cause upset between you and your teen, take a moment to pause and make sure that you are understanding each other. Ask clarifying questions, or state something like, “What I’m hearing is…Is that what you meant?”
Let them know that you’re here for them.
As your teen transitions into an adult, they might prefer to handle some minor matters on their own. It’s good for them to learn how to navigate life’s difficulties, so unless you think their mental or physical health is at risk, give them some space. Don’t force conversations that they don’t want to have but let them know that you are here for them if and when they want to talk.
Christian Counseling in Raleigh Can Help Parents Communicate with Their Children and Teens
Building healthy communication between yourself and your child(ren) or teen(s) can be challenging, and it’s okay to ask for help. There could be many reasons why communication breaks down, and there are Christian therapists in Raleigh that can help you identify these reasons and work towards building a healthy connection with your kids. If this is something that you’re interested in, reach out to Sojourner Counseling. We provide Christian counseling in Raleigh, NC for adults, children, and teens.