Consistency: What Kids Need from Their Parents
Parenting can be frustrating and exhausting, so it’s understandable if you feel tempted to be inconsistent. For example, you might have a boundary around a certain behavior. Sometimes, violations are met with a preset consequence. Other times, you might overlook the behavior. If the behavior worsens because consequences did not follow with consistency, you might react with anger that seems random to the child.
Does this sound familiar? Maybe you can apply this pattern to another area of life in your home. While consistency can be challenging, lacking consistency creates stress for you and your child, and getting things back on track is much more difficult than keeping up with the routine in the first place.
If you can relate, then know that you are not alone.
You have a lot to juggle as a parent, so it’s understandable if some things fall through the cracks. However, it’s important to provide your children and teens with as much consistency as possible.
Want to learn more about why consistency matters and how you can work towards building more consistency in your home? Let’s get to that!
Why Consistency is Important for Children and Teens
Life is full of unforeseen changes and obstacles, but having a baseline of predictability makes dealing with these challenges easier for you and your child. Consistency is also important because it:
- Helps children to learn. Children learn through repetition. When their environment is full of change, this can impede their ability to retain information, leading to learning difficulties and problems with self-control.
- Teaches your child what you expect from them. Children naturally want to please their parents. If they are unsure about your expectations, this leads to a lot of stress for you and your child, and makes it difficult to encourage the behavior that you want.
- Teaches your child what to expect from you. Consistency forms trust between you and your child, because they know how things operate in the home and what they can expect if they do not follow family rules.
- Encourages mental and emotional health. Having a consistent environment and consistent parenting helps your child and teen develop a solid sense of self and encourages healthy emotional regulation.
- Reduces stress in your home. Being consistent is hard, but this pales in comparison to the stress that comes from inconsistency. Once consistency is established, you and your children and teens will enjoy a more peaceful home and build quality family relationships.
Tips for Parenting Consistency
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up (Galatians 6:9).
How do you create consistency as a parent of children and teens? The first step is to make up your mind that you will do everything you can to stick to your decision to be consistent. If you make a mistake, then don’t be too hard on yourself. Get back on track as soon as possible, and know that your hard work is going to pay off! From there, you can work towards doing the following.
Establish a Schedule
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever (Hebrews 13:8).
God created a world that is consistent. We have days, months, seasons, and years – Just to name a few. Just like God created a consistent world in which we live, do your best to provide your children with consistency in the home. Here are some areas to focus on:
- Establish set mealtimes.
- Create a bedtime routine.
- Provide time for play and family activities.
- Moderate screen time.
Communicate Calmly & Clearly
For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome (1 John 5:3).
God gives us rules for our own good, and when He corrects us, He does so in love. It’s important for parents to do the same. First, decide what your household rules are going to be and what consequences will follow for misbehavior. Once you have established your boundaries, communicate these with your children and teens clearly and calmly.
React to Misbehavior Predictably
It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there that a father does not discipline? (Hebrews 12:7).
Your children are going to break rules, so be prepared to stick to the consequences that you have in place. Sometimes this is hard. Maybe you’re busy, or maybe they’ve been behaving well up until now, so you feel tempted to let it slide this time.
Remember that consistency is key so that your children and teens know exactly what to expect from you—which is calm and predictable consequences for the choices that they made.
Consistency & Follow Through
Your faithfulness endures to all generations; you have established the earth, and it stands fast (Psalm 119:90).
Imagine how difficult it would be to trust a God who did not do what He said He would do. The same applies to your children’s ability to trust you. You want your children and teens to trust and respect you, and following through faithfully is the best way to encourage this bond.
For example, keep your expectations for your children and teens consistent. Sometimes, you might rethink a rule or a consequence, and that is okay. However, do your best to set boundaries carefully so they do not need to change often. Additional ways to show consistency include:
- Keeping your promises.
- Fulfilling your parental duties consistently.
- Maintaining an orderly household.
Get Help from Christian Counselors in Raleigh
There are many reasons why parents struggle with consistency. Maybe you grew up in a home that wasn’t consistent, or maybe you’re struggling with anxiety or depression. Maybe your children or teens are dealing with behavioral issues, and you want a helping hand. Whatever the case might be for you, Christian therapists in Raleigh can help.
Sojourner Counseling provides Christian counseling in Raleigh, NC for children, teens, and adults. We offer faith-based resources blended with proven therapeutic methods that are tailored to the unique needs of our clients. Reach out anytime to learn more!