Why Do I Feel Loneliness During the Holidays?

It can be difficult to understand why we feel the way we do. However, once the root cause of negative emotions is identified, you can find ways to deal with feeling lonely during the holidays. There are many common reasons for this problem, but here are a few of the most common. 

Comparing Yourself to Others

Maybe your holiday decorations are lackluster. Perhaps your cooking doesn’t compete with someone else. Or, maybe you’re worried you can’t give as much as you’d like. It could also be that other families seem more organized, or happier, or you can’t help but swoon over those Hallmark holiday romance stories. The possibilities for comparison are everywhere—and this can leave many people feeling isolated. 

Missing Family or Loved Ones

The holidays are notoriously difficult for people separated from those they love. Sometimes, it’s a matter of physical distance and travel is impossible. Sometimes, it’s emotional distance following conflict. Other times, losing a loved one makes celebrating the holidays painfully lonely. 

Seasonal Affective Disorder 

Not all reasons for feeling lonely during the holidays, such as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), are easy to identify. This is a form of depression that occurs during certain seasons, with winter being the most frequently associated with SAD. Some symptoms include a persistent low mood, lack of motivation, changes in sleeping and eating habits, irritability, and headaches. When experiencing these symptoms, you might isolate yourself from others and avoid holiday activities. 

How to Cope with Loneliness During the Holidays

Feeling lonely during the holidays is difficult, no matter what the reason. Thankfully, some things can be done to help make this time of year a more pleasant and meaningful experience.

It’s Okay to Feel Loneliness

Some circumstances cannot be helped, and while there are things that you can do to lessen the intensity of your loneliness, it’s okay to let yourself experience your emotions. In fact, it’s healthy for you to do so. Sit alone and let yourself feel, write your thoughts and feelings in a journal, or talk to a trusted friend or family member. 

Ignore Holiday Stereotypes

Many people have a picture-perfect idea of the holidays, and it can be difficult to measure up. Instead of trying to fit a mold that’s impossible for you, ignore these stressful stereotypes and do things your own way. When you let loose from these constraints, you might be able to enjoy connecting with people during the holidays, rather than getting so bogged down by the details that you can’t make much time for anyone. 

Find Ways to Connect

If you are physically distanced from people you love during the holidays, try finding creative ways to connect. You can go the old-fashioned route and send holiday cards and letters, or take advantage of modern technology. Arrange a video chat, schedule an online game night, stream and watch a holiday movie together, and create a shareable digital photo album. 

Practice Cultivating Gratitude

The holidays provide an opportunity to tell the important people in your life how much they mean to you, which is a great way to connect with others and combat loneliness. You can also start a gratitude journal to help you focus on what matters most during an overwhelming season. 

Stay Busy By Helping Others

Many people find the holidays difficult, and lending a hand to those in need can help combat feelings of loneliness. Find ways to reach out that complement your strengths, like volunteering at a soup kitchen, donating clothing or toys, visiting the sick or elderly, and so on. This will help you connect with people while feeling good about making the holidays a little brighter for someone else. 

Talk to a Professional Counselor 

Sometimes, coping with holiday loneliness can be difficult to do alone. If you’re struggling, then professional counseling might be able to help. This can be particularly useful if the loneliness you feel stems from seasonal depression, grief, loss, or family conflict.

Find Out About Christian Counseling in Raleigh, NC for Holiday Depression, Anxiety, and Loneliness

Sometimes, the best way to navigate loneliness during the holidays is to try several of the above methods at once. If you want to learn more about including counseling in your battle against holiday blues, contact Sojourner Counseling. Our Christian therapists in Raleigh provide counseling for depression and anxiety, including counseling for loneliness during the holidays.

The post Understanding Holiday Loneliness & Strategies for Feeling Better first appeared on Sojourner Counseling.

The post Understanding Holiday Loneliness & Strategies for Feeling Better appeared first on Sojourner Counseling.

Giving thanks to God is an important form of gratitude, and it’s easy to be grateful when life seems to be abounding in blessings. However, the essence of a truly grateful heart isn’t just about feeling content when things are going well or when celebrating Thanksgiving once a year. Genuine gratitude comes from the heart, allowing one to express thanks even during difficult and painful times. 

Is gratitude something you struggle with? If so, don’t worry. Like many things, developing a heart of gratitude takes practice—and this is something that any of us can get better at—thank God!

Reasons to Cultivate a Grateful Heart

Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! (Psalm 100:4).

When we praise and thank God, we instantly feel more connected to Him. This is one of the most important reasons for cultivating a grateful heart. Giving thanks to God demonstrates our appreciation, love for Him, and our faith. The more we focus on these good things, the more we can experience additional benefits that come from a gratitude.

Gratitude brings peace of mind.

People can easily become consumed by their problems. Feelings of anxiety, resentment, or sadness can take over—and the last thing we are is thankful in those moments. However, if you’re looking for reasons to be grateful instead, negativity can melt away and unshakable peace grows from within. In this way, gratitude also equals resilience.

Gratitude combats sinful habits.

Sin often takes root in the heart, especially when it is vulnerable to fear, anger, or despair. Similarly, when we neglect to trust God, the resulting lack of gratitude can undermine our faith. Cultivating thankfulness, however, acts as a powerful defense, striking at the core of many sins before they have a chance to take over.

Gratitude builds healthy relationships. 

Just like a heart of gratitude draws us closer to God, it also builds healthy relationships with other people in our lives. When we let people know that we appreciate their efforts, value them as individuals, and praise God for acting in their lives, we forge strong connections that encourage trust, warmth, and respect. 

How to Have a Heart of Gratitude 

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (1 Thessalonians 5:16-17).

Giving thanks in all circumstances is a high calling, and most of us have some room for improvement. Do you want to know how to have a heart of gratitude?

 Changing your mindset can take time, and it’s normal to experience periods of greater and lesser gratitude. However, with these tips, you can start building a mindset of gratitude and overcome negativity more quickly when your heart wanders in a negative direction. 

Keep a gratitude journal.

Journaling is a great way to get your thoughts down on paper. Take time each day to write at least one thing you are thankful for. Over time, this list will grow, and you can review your gratitude journal to help lift your spirits when you’re feeling down. You can also use your gratitude journal to explore scripture about gratitude and thanksgiving to help build your faith at the same time.

Say “thank you” to someone each day.

Verbally expressing gratitude each day releases happy-making chemicals in your brain, which can help you form a more positive outlook. Maybe you thank your partner for something you never really acknowledged. Perhaps you thank someone who holds a door for you. Look for opportunities to express thanks, and watch your heart fill with gratitude that benefits you and makes others feel great, too!

Do something good for someone else.

Taking your mind off your troubles and instead helping someone else can be a great way to cultivate a heart of gratitude. This also provides an opportunity to see what life is like for those who are less fortunate, which can help you to appreciate blessings in your life that you might otherwise take for granted. 

Consider Christian Counseling in Raleigh, NC

People struggle to develop a heart of gratitude for many reasons, and sometimes, the problems run so deep that it’s nearly impossible to overcome alone. When this is the case, Christian counseling is a great resource. With help from licensed therapists, you can uncover the reasons why you struggle with gratitude and gain useful skills that you can apply to your life at your own pace. 

Get Help Growing a Heart of Gratitude with Christian Counseling in Raleigh, NC 

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever (Psalm 136:1).

Even when we are not thankful, God’s goodness and love remain steady. If you or someone you love would benefit from professional, faith-based counseling for anxiety, depression, trauma, or other mental health concerns that make gratitude difficult, then Sojourner Counseling can help. Our Christian therapists in Raleigh counsel children, teens, and women using proven therapeutic methods combined with biblical resources. Contact us anytime if you’re interested in learning more.

The post How to Practice Having a Heart of Gratitude  first appeared on Sojourner Counseling.

The post How to Practice Having a Heart of Gratitude  appeared first on Sojourner Counseling.

How does EMDR therapy for children work? In a nutshell, the process involves recalling specific memories while being tapped on alternating sides of the body or moving the eyes from side to side. In time, the memory becomes less emotionally charged, allowing the child to process the traumatic event and heal.

In this article, you can get answers to common questions about EMDR therapy for children, including how child EMDR therapy works, who can benefit from EMDR therapy, and what to expect when your child starts EMDR therapy.

What is EMDR Therapy for Childhood Trauma?

Trauma often leaves people feeling “stuck” in the past, reliving painful memories, emotions, and even physical sensations. EMDR therapy is a type of psychotherapy offered by a trained therapist with the goal of processing trauma and moving forward. Several steps are involved in EMDR therapy, with the key feature being bilateral stimulation. 

Bilateral stimulation can include rapid eye movement, tapping on the child’s legs or shoulders, visual cues, or vibrating handheld devices. For children, tapping is the most common method used, but the therapist will work with the child to determine which form of bilateral stimulation he or she is most comfortable with. The stimulation alternates from the left and right side and is meant to help the child focus on the present while recalling painful memories from the past. 

How Does EMDR Therapy for Children Work? 

How EMDR therapy works is a bit of a mystery, but numerous clinical trials support its effectiveness. The idea is that EMDR therapy affects the area of the brain that stores memories by helping the patient work through the traumatic event. 

Traumatic experiences disrupt normal memory formation, which can lead to flashbacks, strong emotional reactions, disturbing thoughts, and physical symptoms like body aches, sleep disturbances, and more—this is called PTSD.

PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder, causes people to relive traumatic experiences, and many times, they cannot move on without professional therapy. Not only does EMDR therapy help the patient process memories, but it can also overwrite the negative effects with positive ones. 

For example, trauma might make a child feel unsafe or unlovable. The goal of EMDR therapy would be to help the child process what happened to them and replace these harmful ideas with the opposite: they are safe, and they are loveable.

Who Can Benefit from EMDR Therapy?

EMDR therapy can help anyone with trauma, including children as young as 2 years old. Depending on the child’s age, the therapist will simplify the process while maintaining its key components. So, even if the child does not fully understand what happened, they can benefit from this therapy. The therapy can continue through multiple sessions for as long as the child requires. 

If you’re a parent or guardian, and you want to know if your child or teen can benefit from EMDR therapy, then the best thing to do is schedule an initial appointment to get more information. This therapy isn’t best for every scenario, but in the right circumstances, it can be very beneficial. Most of the time, two sessions are all it takes to determine whether EMDR therapy will be effective for your child. 

More FAQs When Starting EMDR Therapy for Your Child 

Starting a new therapy can be intimidating, especially when your child is involved. If you have more questions, then don’t hesitate to ask. In the meantime, here are more commonly asked questions that parents and caretakers have about EMDR for children:

• How long do EMDR sessions for children take? That depends on the child’s age and ability to tolerate the therapy comfortably. A typical session can take anywhere between 15–90 minutes. 
• How many EMDR sessions will my child need? The number of sessions of EMDR therapy a child needs ranges from six to twelve on average for a single incident trauma. More sessions may be needed for preparation and support. 
• How can the family get involved? Family involvement is important. First, the therapist will meet with the family to gain a full picture of what the child went through. Counseling for the family might also be offered, and the methods learned during EMDR therapy can be performed at home with the help of a parent or caretaker. 

Find a Professional for EMDR Christian Counseling in Raleigh, NC

Are you interested in EMDR therapy from a Christian perspective? If you’re looking for Christian therapists in Raleigh who provide professional EMDR therapy, then Sojourner Counseling can help. We incorporate biblical ideas throughout the various phases of the therapeutic process, and we can tailor the sessions to meet the needs of your child or teen. Contact us anytime to learn more about why we are trustworthy Christian counselors in Raleigh for EMDR therapy.

The post How to Understand EMDR Therapy for Childhood Trauma first appeared on Sojourner Counseling.

The post How to Understand EMDR Therapy for Childhood Trauma appeared first on Sojourner Counseling.

If you’re considering beginning therapy for the first time or transitioning from in-person to virtual sessions, here are some valuable tips to help you effectively prepare and get the most from your counseling sessions.

Prepare a Quiet Space for Your Online Christian Therapy Sessions

Creating the right environment for your online therapy sessions significantly influences its effectiveness and your comfort level. First, find a quiet, distraction-free space where you can speak comfortably and privately with your Christian counselor. You might want to invest in a good chair, ensure there is pleasant lighting, and have any comforting items nearby to put you at ease during the session.

Check for Technology Trouble

Before your session begins, it’s essential to ensure your technology is ready to go. Use a computer or a laptop for a better visual and auditory experience, and position your device at eye level to maintain comfort and engagement throughout the session. Conduct a quick test of your camera and microphone to prevent any technical glitches. Connecting to a secure, private Wi-Fi network will help maintain the confidentiality and quality of the session. Also, remember to close unnecessary apps and enable “Do Not Disturb” mode on your devices to avoid interruptions that could disrupt your focus.

Make a List of Questions for Your Therapist

Maintaining a clear line of communication with your therapist is crucial for a successful therapeutic relationship. This begins by preparing a list of questions for your therapist, especially if this is your first session. Consider asking about the Christian therapist’s qualifications, experience, counseling approach, and any other issues you want to discuss. Such preparation ensures that you make the most of your time together.

Write Down Your Symptoms and Goals

Now that you’ve set the stage for a great first session, write down any symptoms or other concerns you’ve been experiencing and your goals for therapy. Having these points ready can help steer the conversation effectively towards your specific needs. Moreover, proactively identifying these factors can also help your therapist understand and address your challenges more precisely, making the most of your sessions.

Relax, and Don’t Worry About Going Too Fast

Feeling a bit anxious before a therapy session is normal, particularly if you’re new to the virtual format. Remember, Christian online therapists in NC are dedicated to providing the support you need and will work with you at your own pace. As you develop a rapport with your counselor and adjust to meeting online, you will become more comfortable expressing your thoughts and feelings openly.

Have a Plan for Emergencies

Therapy can bring up painful memories and intense emotions, which is why having a plan for handling these emotional emergencies can make your sessions less stressful and more effective. Before your session, talk with your Christian counselor about the steps you can take if you become triggered during the session. You can also discuss what to do if your connection is interrupted unexpectedly.

Set Aside Time for Your Online Christian Therapy Sessions

Therapy is most effective with regular sessions, so you want to be sure to set aside time in your schedule and treat it as an essential part of your routine. Ensure this time is free from other commitments so you can focus entirely on your mental health. Prioritizing your sessions can create a structured and consistent environment, facilitating progress and growth in your therapy journey.

Find Quality Online Christian Therapy in NC

This might go without saying, but one of the most important steps to prepare for online Christian therapy is to find the right therapist. Start by searching “Christian counselors near me” or “online therapist near me” and focus on their credentials, specialization, therapeutic approach, comfort level, availability, and accessibility to ensure your needs are effectively met.

In conclusion, preparing for an online therapy session involves more than just being present in front of a screen. By creating a conducive environment, ensuring your technology functions smoothly, and coming prepared with questions and goals, you set the stage for an effective session. Are you interested in online Christian counseling? Contact Sojourner Counseling, a trusted team of licensed therapists specializing in children, teens, and women. We will be happy to answer any questions you have about online therapy in NC!

The post How to Prepare for Online Christian Therapy in NC first appeared on Sojourner Counseling.

The post How to Prepare for Online Christian Therapy in NC appeared first on Sojourner Counseling.

Sometimes, you manage to push through a few steps. Other times you stumble backward. Sometimes you can’t bear to move another inch. 

If this struggle resonates with you, then it’s important to understand that it’s not your fault. Most importantly, things might not be as bleak as they appear. You could be dealing with seasonal affective disorder. Seasonal affective disorder is a form of depression that surfaces during certain seasons—with winter being the most common. 

In this article, you can discover more about the signs of seasonal affective disorder. You’ll explore ways to brighten your mood and improve your wellbeing. 

Common Signs of Seasonal Affective Disorder

The symptoms of seasonal affective disorder can manifest differently for each person. If the scenario above doesn’t seem right, it doesn’t mean you don’t have seasonal affective disorder. Common signs and symptoms of seasonal affective disorder include:

• Persistent Sadness or Low Mood, Particularly During Certain Seasons
• Lack of Motivation to Complete Daily Tasks
• Unable to Enjoy Activities You Once Loved
• Changes in Sleep Patterns or Appetite
• More Irritable or Unexpected Angry Outbursts
• Frequent Headaches, Stomach Pains, and General Body Aches
• Withdrawal from friends and family
• Thoughts and Feelings of Hopelessness

Remembering that these symptoms can vary in intensity is important. Some people might appear “high functioning,” managing to maintain a job and care for family while struggling internally. However, they may not be able to fully enjoy life as they would without SAD.

If your symptoms are overwhelming and make it hard to get through the day, you should seek help. Even if you manage to get by but don’t feel happy, it’s still important to address the problem. Doing so can help you find the relief you need.

What To Do If You Struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder

One of the harsh aspects of seasonal affective disorder is the feeling of hopelessness. This feeling can keep you stuck in a depressed state. However, sometimes taking a small step in the right direction can give you the momentum you need to fight back. Here are some things that you can try if you’re struggling with SAD:

Get Some Nourishment and Rest. 

Sometimes SAD is a symptom of malnutrition. If you could be deficient in vitamin D or other nutrients, then your troubles could be purely nutritional. Lack of sleep can also cause depression. 

Get up and get moving. 

The last thing you might feel like doing is exercise, but this is a great way to battle seasonal affective disorder. Begin with a short walk in the sun to get some vitamin D. Then, gradually move on to more intense activities. 

Talk to Someone About It. 

If you tend to bottle up your emotions, then this can lead to symptoms of depression. Connecting with others and sharing your frustrations can help you find the mental space you need. This can give you a new perspective and help you fight against depression.

Change Things Up. 

If you feel like a hamster on a wheel, then try doing something different. Go for a drive to some different place. Cook a new meal (that provides those depression-fighting nutrients) or redecorate a room in your house. 

Consider Christian Counseling in Raleigh. 

Time to do something arises if nothing seems to work or if the relief is always short-lived.  Consider getting help from a Christian therapist in Raleigh, NC. Mental health treatment options are available in North Carolina. Your options may include medication and a variety of counseling services. 

If you or a loved one is struggling with suicidal thoughts or behaviors, get help right away. Call 911 or reach out to a suicide hotline (call 988). People out there understand how you feel and will help you get through this. 

Fighting Seasonal Depression Through Faith

Your faith can help you battle seasonal affective disorder.  God does not intend for you to feel hopeless, lost, or defeated. He has a purpose for you, He loves you, and He will not leave you stuck in a rut of sadness.

With the power of Jesus Christ, you can defeat the dark spirits that hold you back. You can live the free life He wants for you.

Scriptures for Seasonal Affective Disorder

• Philippians 4:8 — “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
• Psalm 42:11 — “Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God!”
• 1 Peter 4: 12-13 —  “Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.”
• Isaiah 61: 3 — “To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.”

Seasonal Affective Disorder Christian Counseling in Raleigh, NC

If you or someone you love is struggling with seasonal affective disorder, then now is the time to get help. Sojourner Counseling offers Christian therapy in Raleigh. Christian beliefs and scientific therapies are used in our approach. If you’d like to connect with licensed Christian counselors in Raleigh, NC, then reach out to us today.

The post How to Overcome Seasonal Depression with Faith-Based Therapy in Raleigh first appeared on Sojourner Counseling.

The post How to Overcome Seasonal Depression with Faith-Based Therapy in Raleigh appeared first on Sojourner Counseling.

Why Bilateral Stimulation is Used in EMDR Therapy

EMDR therapy is a treatment that encourages the brain to process painful memories and speeds up its natural healing process. This form of therapy is an effective treatment for PTSD, anxiety, depression, and more. Bilateral stimulation is a key component of EMDR therapy because it provides the stimulation the brain needs to achieve the desired result. When used in EMDR therapy, BLS:

• Activates both sides of the brain to help process “stuck” memories.
• Desensitizes traumatic emotions to make them less painful and more manageable. 
• Improves relaxation, and focus, and decreases emotional reactivity.
• Encourages long-term memory storage to reduce flashbacks. 
• Reduces stress and anxiety and a sense of well-being.
• Challenges negative self-talk and forms a healthier self-image.

How Bilateral Stimulation is Used in EMDR Therapy

There are two main categories of bilateral stimulation used in EMDR therapy. The first is slow bilateral stimulation, which helps the client replace negative memories, thoughts, and emotions with positive ones. Slow, short sets of bilateral stimulation are used in this process. The second is fast bilateral stimulation, which is used to identify and consolidate traumatic memories that are stored in the mind and body. 

While these are the base forms of BLS, there are several types that can be used, including:

• Auditory Bilateral Stimulation: The client wears headphones to listen to tones that alternate from the left and right ear.
• Tactile Bilateral Stimulation: Pulsars are placed in each hand, and the client feels a pulse or vibration that alternates between each hand. There are also devices that can be worn on the wrists or ankles. 
• Visual Bilateral Stimulation: Lights or visual cues alternate from each side. The client looks at the light or visual aid as it moves back and forth between each eye. 

Both slow and fast bilateral stimulation are used in the desensitization, installation, and body scan phases of EMDR. More on this process:

• History Taking & Preparation: The counselor gathers information about the client’s symptoms and goals for treatment, and the client learns about what to expect during EMDR sessions. 
• Desensitization & Installation: The client recalls memories while using bilateral stimulation to foster and enhance the brain’s natural healing process. Positive thoughts and emotions gradually replace harmful ones. 
• Body Scan & Closure: The counselor guides the client through a whole-body scan to identify stress that’s stored in the body. The client and counselor discuss ways to manage painful thoughts, emotions, and memories that arise between sessions. 

Benefits of Bilateral Stimulation EMDR Therapy

Trauma can leave a person feeling “stuck” in painful memories, often reliving thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations over and over again. Bilateral stimulation helps the person move forward by processing the traumatic event until the pain is resolved. This helps the client regulate their emotions, stop ruminating on difficult memories, and alleviate distressing physical and psychological symptoms of PTSD. 

Christian Counseling in Raleigh, NC with BLS Therapy

If you or someone you love is having difficulty moving on after a traumatic event, and you want a faith-based approach to healing, then Christian EMDR therapy can help. There are EMDR-trained Christian therapists in Raleigh who can incorporate Christian values and ideas into each phase of the therapeutic process, so you can heal from trauma while growing your relationship with God at the same time. 

Contact a Christian BLS & EMDR Therapist in Raleigh, NC to Learn More

Are you interested in Christian Counseling in Raleigh that provides bilateral stimulation EMDR therapy? Reach out to Sojourner Counseling. We provide trauma counseling for children, teens, and adults. Our faith-based approach incorporates scriptures, prayer, hymns, and more during the EMDR sessions as requested by each client. Contact us anytime to learn more, or to schedule your initial appointment.

The post How to Understand Bilateral Stimulation in EMDR Therapy first appeared on Sojourner Counseling.

The post How to Understand Bilateral Stimulation in EMDR Therapy appeared first on Sojourner Counseling.

These are things that you shouldn’t have to say, because you assume that people have the same expectations that you do, right? Not exactly.

Actually, these are some examples of unspoken expectations and assumptions—a habit that can cause a lot of unnecessary trouble in your relationships. Why does this happen? How is this harmful? How can you break this habit? Let’s find out!

Where Do Expectations and Assumptions Come From?

Take a minute to think about it. What unspoken expectations and assumptions do you have in your relationships? Where do you think these come from? Here are some common sources to get your thoughts flowing:

• Personal Priorities: Sometimes it’s easy to assume that people have the same priorities, and relationship expectations are formed based on these assumptions. 
• Childhood Experiences: Expectations often form during childhood. For example, if your mother and father took on certain roles and duties around the house when you were growing up, you might expect and assume that your spouse will do the same.
• Life Lessons: For better or worse, life experiences teach us about what to expect from other people. Sometimes we can misapply this experience and make unfair assumptions about people, or place unfair expectations onto them. 

Why Unspoken Expectations & Assumptions are Harmful

Has someone you love ever been upset with you, and you had no idea why? This is one thing that happens with unspoken expectations and assumptions. 

It can be difficult for people to interpret your wants and needs, especially if you aren’t having an open conversation about it. What’s worse is when this leads to hurt feelings, and the offending party has no clue about what’s going on, much less how to resolve the matter. 

So, on one side you have a person who feels unfulfilled in the relationship, and on the other is a person who does not have the information needed to contribute to the relationship in the best ways. This can lead to a lot of stress, confusion, conflict, and in the end makes it very difficult to have a healthy relationship. 

How to Communicate Your Expectations & Assumptions

It can be difficult to have conversations about what you need in a relationship. Maybe you avoid these discussions because you don’t want to risk conflict. Maybe you try to push your expectations aside, just to have the frustration build up overtime. Or, maybe you expect other people to do for you what you’d do for them, so having a conversation seems irrelevant. 

However, putting your unspoken expectations and assumptions out into the open will have to happen eventually—either during a conflict or in a calm, and controlled manner. Here are some tips for having a conversation that you’ll be glad that you had:

• Write It Down: One great way to get clear before your conversation is to write your thoughts down. What are your expectations for your relationship? Are there any assumptions that you might have made that need to be cleared up? Where do you think they stem from?
• Communicate Clearly: When it’s time to talk it out, make sure to speak directly and to the point. Beating around the bush only leads to more confusion. 
• Avoid Accusations: Communicate your thoughts and feelings without making it personal. For example, instead of saying things like, “you never…” say, “this makes me feel like…”
• Stay Open: Be prepared to hear the other person’s side. Maybe they have a different idea about how things should go, or maybe they have some unspoken expectations or assumptions to share with you as well. 
• Consider Counseling: If you could use some help bridging the communication gap, then a professional counselor can help. You can learn some helpful communication skills and have a mediator to ensure that everyone is heard respectfully. 

Christian Counseling in Raleigh, NC for Effective Communication Skills

Are you worried that unspoken expectations and assumptions are damaging your relationship(s)? There could be many reasons why talking it out is difficult to do on your own, and thankfully you don’t have to. If you want help from a faith-based perspective, then there are Christian therapists in Raleigh that can help. Sojourner Counseling offers Christian counseling in Raleigh for individuals and couples.  We will help you uncover unspoken needs in your relationships, and find ways to overcome challenges in a way that’s most agreeable for everyone involved. 

The post The Toxic Impact of Unspoken Expectations and Assumptions in Relationships first appeared on Sojourner Counseling.

The post The Toxic Impact of Unspoken Expectations and Assumptions in Relationships appeared first on Sojourner Counseling.

As God’s creation, we look to our Creator for all things. Even so, living in this world comes with its fair share of challenges, and sometimes we can become so focused on the day-to-day grind that we forget to rest. God Himself rested, and He created rest for us also. This is the Sabbath—a word that means, “rest.” 

Sabbath in the New Testament

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28).

It can be easy to become distracted from the things of God when we are stifled by the “cares of this life” as Jesus teaches in the Parable of the Sower (See Matthew 13). However, God provides us with a solution—the Sabbath. 

The Sabbath is an ancient Jewish custom in which the people of God refrained from all forms of work and turned their hearts toward God. As Christians, we focus on the New Testament understanding of the Sabbath, which is not so much about honoring a specific day, but about putting our trust in God through the Son, Jesus Christ. 

Through Jesus Christ, we can find peace and comfort from the hustle and bustle of this life, and in Him there is true rest for the mind, body, and soul. 

He also provides us with liberty to keep the Sabbath in a variety of ways. If you’re interested in developing a Sabbath mindset that provides you with much-needed rest, then here are some ways to make this happen.

Decide what your Sabbath looks like.

Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ (Colossians 2:16-17).

It’s true that the Old Testament Sabbath came with some strict guidelines, and we can use these guidelines today to help us understand what the Sabbath is about. However, as Christians, we are taught that the law is a shadow of things to come, and in Jesus Christ, we see a deeper meaning according to the heart or Spirit of God. This means that keeping the Sabbath isn’t about following a regulation but about a relationship with God.

What does this mean for you? 

Take some time to think about what your Sabbath looks like. 

Do you want to designate one day for rest and reflection in Christ, or do you want to set aside sometime each day? How are you going to spend your Sabbath? You might read some scriptures, pray, listen to worship music, spend time alone in nature, or meditate on the things of God while doing something you love. 

Prepare ahead of time.

Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy (Exodus 20:8).

Once you decide what your vision of the Sabbath looks like, take steps toward making it happen—and do your best to stick to it. If you want to spend one day a week away from all forms of work, then make sure everything is taken care of before that day. You might also want a quiet place that you can retreat to, or even some supplies, depending on what you plan to do. 

Free yourself from distractions.

The seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work…(Deuteronomy 5:14).

When it’s time for your Sabbath, do your best to rid yourself of all distractions. Turn off your phone, let friends and family know that you need some uninterrupted time, and when non-emergencies arise that tempt you to steal away your rest, ignore them.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2).

Do you feel like there’s no time for rest? No time for God? No time for yourself? It’s completely okay to ask for help. Designate a household chore to someone else, work fewer hours, or hire someone when possible. It can be difficult to let go, but taking care of yourself and your relationship with God is the fuel you need to do all things.

Learn about how Christian Counseling in Raleigh, NC can help you create rhythms of Sabbath and rest. 

Do you struggle with letting go and trusting in God? Do you consider yourself to be a “workaholic?” Does anxiety make it impossible for you to relax? If there is anything getting in the way of your Sabbath, then Christian counseling in Raleigh can help. 

Are you interested in a “Christian counselor near me?” Sojourner Counseling is a team of licensed Christian therapists in Raleigh, NC that provides a variety of counseling services for children, teens, and adults. Reach out to us anytime to learn about how we can help you settle into your Sabbath!

The post How To Create Rhythms of Sabbath and Rest first appeared on Sojourner Counseling.

The post How To Create Rhythms of Sabbath and Rest appeared first on Sojourner Counseling.

You can connect with a variety of counselors. 

When you team up with a counselor, you want to be sure that you’re working with someone that you feel safe with. If you’re limited to local therapists, then it could be more difficult to find the right professional for you. When going online, you can connect with counselors from all over the state, so you can find a person that you feel comfortable with and who offers the type of counseling that you need. 

Get professional counseling from the convenience of your home.

Whether you want to avoid a long drive to the counseling clinic or simply feel more comfortable in your own environment, online counseling is the way to go. Plus, you have greater scheduling flexibility, because many online counselors provide options that go beyond a standard nine-to-five. 

It can be more affordable.

Are you looking for an affordable Christian counseling option? If so, then online sessions are worth considering. The base cost might be about the same as with in-person counseling, but you can save a lot of money over time on gas, vehicle maintenance, childcare, and time off work. 

Some people feel more comfortable talking online.

Social anxiety can be a huge barrier for those who want to work with a therapist. If you can relate, or if you just feel more comfortable talking to someone online rather than in person, then virtual Christian counseling is a great solution. 

You might be more likely to complete your sessions.

For therapy to work, you have to keep your appointments and participate in the counseling sessions to the best of your ability. Missed sessions can be a huge setback, and sometimes people stop going altogether because it’s too much of a hassle. So, last but not least, another reason to choose online Christian counseling is it might make it easier to get the results that you’re looking for. 

Answers to Common Concerns About Online Counseling

You just read about some benefits of Christian online counseling, but you might be wondering if this form of therapy is right for everyone. Here are some common questions and answers about online Christian counseling that you might find helpful when deciding if this is the best option for you. 

Is online Christian counseling effective?

Many people find that online Christian counseling is just as effective as in-person counseling. In fact, you might find even better results thanks to the benefits discussed above. However, there are some forms of therapy and some mental health conditions that are best treated in person. The best way to find out if online counseling is an effective option for your needs is to talk it over with a licensed therapist. 

Is online counseling covered by insurance?

That depends on your insurance provider, but in most cases, online therapy receives the same level of coverage as in-person therapy. If you aren’t sure about whether your insurance company will help you pay for online counseling, then call your adjuster for the information that you need. 

Are there any confidentiality risks with online counseling? 

If you are working with a licensed counselor, then they are obligated by law to protect your confidentiality. This extends to online counseling. Your therapist will meet with you in a secure virtual space that keeps your information private. If privacy or confidentiality are concerns for you, then don’t hesitate to have a discussion with your therapist. 

Are there times when online counseling is a bad idea?

In many instances, online Christian counseling can make it easier to get the support that you need. However, there are times when meeting virtually could be problematic. For example, if you are dealing with a crisis situation or if you’re battling complex mental health disorders that require immediate attention, then it might be better to stick with traditional routes. You will also need a quality internet connection and a basic understanding of the technologies involved in online therapy. 

Learn More About Online Christian Counseling in Raleigh, NC 

Are you looking for “Christian counselors near me” who provide online Christian counseling in Raleigh? Do you have some questions about whether virtual sessions are right for you? Get more answers by contacting Sojourner Counseling. Our Christian therapists are happy to answer any questions that you have, and we can also help you get set up with an initial appointment.

The post How Online Counseling Makes It Easy to See a Christian Counselor in Raleigh first appeared on Sojourner Counseling.

The post How Online Counseling Makes It Easy to See a Christian Counselor in Raleigh appeared first on Sojourner Counseling.

That’s because trauma also causes physical, or somatic, symptoms. Sometimes, these symptoms can last longer than the mental or emotional symptoms because they can be easy to overlook. In many cases, trauma survivors experience a mixture of mental, emotional, and physical symptoms.

In this article, you’ll learn about how trauma is stored in the body, what that looks like, and how you can release trauma stored in the body. 

How Does Your Body Hold Trauma?

When you are in danger, the amygdala triggers the release of stress hormones like cortisol. The release of cortisol prepares the mind and body to deal with danger, activating the fight, flight, or freeze response. This is necessary for survival. However, trauma occurs when you have not fully processed the overwhelming experience. The release of cortisol continues, making you feel tense and emotionally reactive, and can negatively affect your body in several ways. 

What Are the Effects of Stored Trauma on the Body?

Trauma is not truly “stored” in the body. What happens with trauma is you continue to feel the effects of the danger you once experienced, even for many years after the event occurred. Your mind and body reacts just as it did during the initial trauma, including releasing cortisol. Effects of trauma on the body can include:

• Muscle Tension
• Headaches
• Tightness in the Chest
• Feeling Shaky or On Edge
• Difficulty Sleeping or Sleeping Too Much
• Memory Issues or Brain Fog
• Chronic Muscle and/or Joint Pain

How Can You Release Stored Trauma in the Body?

While trauma symptoms can be difficult to deal with, to say the least, there are some things that you can try to help you relax mentally, emotionally, and physically:

• Let yourself feel. Bottling up your emotions is not only harmful mentally but also physically. As difficult as it can be, take some time to let yourself feel the sadness, anger, fear, and other negative emotions associated with the traumatic experience. 
• Practice mindfulness. When your thoughts and emotions become too much to handle, mindfulness can help you to refocus and gain control. 
• Take time out for yourself. Some people deal with trauma by keeping busy, and sometimes this can backfire, leading to exhaustion, sleep troubles, and other physical problems. Try to take a break and don’t feel bad about a little pampering to help you loosen up. 
• Get some exercise. Exercise is great for releasing stored cortisol. Go for a walk, take an aerobics class, or turn on your favorite music and dance your heart out. 
• Try Journaling. Journaling is a great way to release pent-up emotions, and it can also help you to process jumbled-up thoughts and feelings. 

Trauma Counseling Can Heal Somatic Symptoms

As mentioned earlier, your amygdala is responsible for releasing cortisol. When the amygdala is activated, the prefrontal cortex slows. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for logical thought and reason. That’s why trauma often leads to strong emotions and can make you feel like you’re “out of control.”

The goal of Trauma therapy is to activate the prefrontal cortex so that your brain can fully process and heal from the trauma. As this occurs, the physical or somatic experiences of trauma are released. Here are some common, proven therapies for releasing trauma in the body:

• Cognitive Processing Therapy: This helps with identifying and redirecting unwanted thoughts related to the traumatic event. It also provides a tool for calming emotional dysregulation and its physical effects. 
• Prolonged Exposure Therapy: Trauma-related memories are discussed and evaluated slowly over time, so the person can learn how to deal with these memories without feeling endangered by them. 
• EMDR Therapy: Eye Movement Desensitization and Processing Therapy helps to lessen and eventually release emotional charges and physical sensations related to specific traumatic memories. 
• Somatic Experiencing: This therapy focuses on the body’s responses to traumatic events to help the person process and heal. 

Connect with Trauma Christian Therapists in Raleigh, NC

Are you concerned that you or a loved one is struggling to move forward after trauma? Whether you’re dealing with emotional, mental, or physical symptoms—or all of them at once—trauma counseling can help. 

Sojourner Counseling offers trauma Christian counseling in Raleigh, NC for children, teens, and adults. We provide a blend of proven therapies like those mentioned above with faith-based tools for healing, like scripture reading and prayer. Let us know if you’re interested in learning more.

The post How To Release Trauma Stored in the Body first appeared on Sojourner Counseling.

The post How To Release Trauma Stored in the Body appeared first on Sojourner Counseling.